Is Jerry Normal?

Is Jerry Normal?

Jerry is hoping that gas prices will go up.

He owns stock in Exxon.

Jerry is hoping people will get sick.

His wife is a pharmacist.

Jerry wants guys to become impotent.

He works for Pfizer.

Jerry won’t drink German beer.

He’s all American.

Jerry lives his life in fear.

He’ll never go to Cambodia

Unless he can take his platoon with him

To keep his paranoia at bay.

Jerry keeps a shotgun in his truck

Just in case a hippy gets smart with him.

Hello World!

You might know about me from a book that was written by Willie Zakel. He wrote Paradisiacal Moments under the pen name of Joey Schmoeller, a guy he met in an Off-Track Betting Parlor in Lower Manhattan. After I read Willie’s book about me, I figured that if he could publish a book about inane experiences and the riptides of life, then I could too. The only problem is that Willie already wrote about most of my escapades and forays into the far corners of the planet, leaving me with next to nothing to write about. I should have sued the bastard, but unfortunately he fell off the water tower in Luchenbach, Texas while he was painting the address of his website on the side of the tank. So anyway, since he wrote about almost all of my adventures, I thought I had nothing to write about. Then I said, wait a second — there is my outré take on life which has kept cocktail party guests occupied as well as inconnus sitting on park benches. And besides that I’m a bit jagged about the way things are going in the world. And I plan to tell you about it right here.